


Not Your Number One

by plantboycharms



Series: Electra Heart [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Casual Sex, Condoms, M/M, Pining, Smut, Tsukiyama - Freeform, Unrequited Love, featuring a lack of communication, i feel gross, i guess, i promised I would never write smut of these literal high schoolers but here we fuCKIN ARE, one-sided, safe sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8140297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantboycharms/pseuds/plantboycharms
Summary: When he pulled Tsukishima in for another kiss, and another, he was rewarded with teeth on his bottom lip and a hand in his hair, pulling sharply.And he wanted it. He really, really wanted it. And when they both wiped off the sweat and lube and come and put their clothes back on, Yamaguchi trying desperately to comb his hair back into submission with his fingers, Tsukishima had gone back to his studying and didn't say a word about it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> You don't love me. Big fucking deal. I'll never tell you how I feel.

The first time it happened, they had just lost a match, and Yamaguchi slept over at Tsukishima's house, at the blond's request. They had been sharing a bed since they were kids. It wasn't a big deal, Yamaguchi thought.  
It was, however, a big deal, when Tsukishima had his arms in a vice grip around Yamaguchi's waist, the both of them gasping for air as Yamaguchi came undone under Tsukishima, whispering out his name over and over.  
It was a big deal when they showered together, washing away the sweat and lubricant and the smell of latex, occasionally meeting each others' gazes, occasionally brushing together, but nothing more. And when they fell asleep, tangled in each other's arms, Tsukishima holding Yamaguchi strongly to his chest, it felt like Yamaguchi's entire world was Tsukishima. 

When he woke up in the morning and Tsukishima was already up, and dressed, and making breakfast, it didn't seem like a big deal.  
When he proceeded to act like nothing had happened, Yamaguchi didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to take it. He didn't know what had happened between them.  
It felt like a big deal, to Yamaguchi, that it wasn't a big deal to Tsukishima. 

The second time, Tsukishima threw down his pen angrily while they were studying at Yamaguchi's house, parents not yet back from work, and shoved Yamaguchi's books out of his way to kiss him roughly, pushing him down onto the ground. Yamaguchi was shocked. Again. It was out of the blue.  
Again.  
But he wanted it.  
And again, they were stripping down to nothing and Yamaguchi was staring up at Tsukishima's red face with glassy eyes and he was saying "Tsukki, Tsukki, Tsukki..." again and again, unable to stop himself. When he pulled Tsukishima in for another kiss, and another, he was rewarded with teeth on his bottom lip and a hand in his hair, pulling sharply.  
And he wanted it. He really, really wanted it. 

And when they both wiped off the sweat and lube and come and put their clothes back on, Yamaguchi trying desperately to comb his hair back into submission with his fingers, Tsukishima had gone back to his studying and didn't say a word about it. Yamaguchi couldn't focus on his math anymore. His mind was on the look on Tsukishima's face as he had shuddered through his orgasm, the way he had stroked Yamaguchi's hair as they had lay, practically hugging, on the ground, and the way his lips felt against Yamaguchi's temple.  
The next day, they walked together in near silence. Yamaguchi brought up the math homework. Tsukishima said he had finished it. Yamaguchi waited. He got silence.

The third time, they burst into Tsukishima's house after a particularly hard run on a Sunday morning, and were rewarded with silence and warmth, and Tsukishima had Yamaguchi pressed against the door, lips and tongue and teeth on his neck, scraping his collarbone, and Yamaguchi's head was thrown back against the door and he really, really wanted Tsukishima, right now.  
When he managed to flip them around, to bite into the strong muscle in Tsukishima's shoulder, Tsukishima had his eyes closed. And when he dropped to his knees in the entryway, pulling Tsukishima's stretchy shorts down to palm his erection through his shorts, he didn't open them.  
Yamaguchi stared up at Tsukishima through teary eyes, watching him the whole time. Tsukishima's hands felt perfect, clenched in his hair, guiding him forward and back. And when they stumbled to Tsukishima's bed, mouths reattached, Yamaguchi felt a pang of something bitter that he couldn't quite place. 

Yamaguchi woke up before Tsukishima did. Staring at his sleeping face, glasses cast aside, hair mussed, mouth open, Yamaguchi realized what it might be.  
He might be in love with his best friend.  
Maybe. 

It continued. Yamaguchi would never initiate it, but Tsukishima would inevitably have him, somewhere, whenever he wanted, really. And Yamaguchi wanted so badly for it to be real.  
Tsukishima never opened his eyes. And there was never a name on his lips. Not like Yamaguchi.  
He couldn't keep his eyes off of his best friend, couldn't stop himself from crying "Tsukki" when he finished, couldn't stop himself from imagining it later, alone, and Tsukishima's name coming to his lips again.  
He couldn't help it. 

In the showers, late leaving practice, Yamaguchi was against the cold shower wall with Tsukishima looming over him, hands above his shoulders, one knee between his thighs to stop him from moving.  
"Tsukki, wait." he gasped, regretting it almost as soon as it came out of his mouth. "What... What are we doing?"  
"What does it look like we're doing?" Tsukishima said, wrapping his arms around Yamaguchi's waist and hoisting him up. Yamaguchi wrapped his legs around the blond's waist almost automatically, hands going down to his shoulders to brace himself.  
"I mean... What are we doing here. What is this?" Yamaguchi stuttered, trying not to gasp as his best friend's hands skimmed over his skin, scratching on their way back down. Tsukishima snorted.  
"It's exactly what it looks like. Now shut up."  
Tsukishima's mouth on his definitely did shut Yamaguchi up. 

Yamaguchi knew it was desperate. He knew that it was a waste of time, there was no reason for him to stay, he shouldn't keep letting Tsukishima use him when he wanted and throw him away when he didn't want him anymore, but he couldn't help himself.  
He was desperate for Tsukishima's hands on his body. He felt alive, under his best friend's touch. It was the only time he felt it.  
There was no future with Tsukishima, and he knew it. 

He loved Tsukishima.  
And Tsukishima didn't love him.  
He would never tell him.

When tears came, later on, when he was alone, he didn't try to stop them. 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was entirely fueled by Starring Role by Marina. I blame her for this.  
> I feel like I've sinned. I'm sorry. Talk to me about Jesus and prayer on tumblr (fragile-euphoria.tumblr.com)  
> Leave kudos or a comment if you like sinning.  
> (EDIT: part 2 of this is up and its the next one in the series! You should read it for maximum pain)


End file.
